American Dream

An achievement – the American Dream

now what?

One door just barely came open; another one shut

 

There will always be that once upon a time:

days of carefree abandon were mine

the things that I had did not define ~

 

and a long empty road stretched out in front of me,

traded Big Sky of the west for South’s tranquility.

The simplest of choices:  the mountains or the sea?

All the while, wasting time thinking about some punk

all that I owned fit in my back seat and trunk

 

Were the scorching sun and heat enough to wash it away

then I wouldn’t be here to this very day

just a far-flung soul

with constant trials and tolls

on a pursuit; seeking to find the best way

 

Sometimes the only solution

is to leave the situation.

These people are not my friends

and the search never ends…

Who Was I

CONFESSIONS OF A WITCH I didn’t seem to need anyone’s approval in seeking my own creative inspiration There was this thing I had in which it helped me to develop my own flavor of spiritual and emotional incarnation It lead me to become aware of my own Witchiness Which turned out to be a very […]

via WHO WAS I — hocuspocus13

Evening Owl

On a balmy night, you’re in my sight

on the highest tree branch, you alight

whispering winds stroke ruffled wings

hearing your wind-swept call, my senses delight

 

A stranger who comes but once a year

you’re a portent of luck, though in some cause fear

russet raptor of doom gazing down on tombs

your intentions remain unclear

 

On widow-making branches you linger

hovering above necropolis, the bringer

of a serene surprise, most will not realize

invader from another realm; the ultimate infringer

 

For it is not from this world you come

no, from somewhere dreams are undone

and I welcome you here, my clever seer

and to your spectral customs I succumb

 

Just as the black cat who crosses my path will bring good luck

in your nightly visits and wily ways, I am moonstruck

and in the cemetery where I walk there is no need for talk

it is a peaceful place for clearing our minds and souls from muck

 

And when stars shimmer across ebony skies

always at home in the shadows are you and I

furiously fighting against the wind, tormented hearts undisciplined

to the ways of a world we will never fit in

taking comfort in the awakening of our eyes

knowing the time is over for deceit and lies.

 

 

 

Transient – Like it’s a dirty word

I was once accused of being transient.  Transient – like it was a dirty word.

I looked around at what I had back then.  A second floor apartment in a white stucco building downtown.  A TV, a lawn chair for a chair, a lamp and an end table or two, a bed, a keyboard with bench and stand, and a couple kitchen items.  The apartment was was simple and clean; newly remodeled.  The kitchen appliances were brand new and rarely, if ever, used.  In the evenings, palm fronds brushed against my windows, creating pretty silhouettes in the shadows.  There was a coffee shop right across the street (Mother’s Milk I think it was called) where they had live entertainment in the evenings sometimes, and I could hear it from my windows.  It made me feel like I was part of something, whether I went there or not. I made friends with a mechanic in the shop across the street, who invited me to his more inland house when there was a hurricane threat.  A Turkish man owned the gas station next door and had great prices on wine.  I could walk, rollerblade, or ride my bike most places.  

When I moved there, everything I owned fit in my car.  The car was a Grand Marquis (I forget the year), so it was pretty roomy.  But I still had one of those cartop carrier thingies on top that I think I put clothes in.  In my travels, one of the straps had broken and I literally drove with my driver window open, holding that strap, across several states because I couldn’t figure out a way to fix it.  

Joe was this guy I met back then.  He was a furniture builder and also a doorman/bouncer who worked the door at a nearby club.  He was okay.  I think he liked me more than I liked him.  One afternoon not long after I met him, he told me that he had just recently gotten out of jail in Texas.  I can’t remember for what.  Anyway, he had this thing for dressing nice and being “classy” and having nice and classy things.  One day, he looked around my apartment and made a comment along the lines of, “it looks like a transient lives here.”  It wasn’t so much what he said; it was more how he said it that made me feel weird.  

Why do some people feel the need to judge others so harshly?  Especially based on what they have or how they live?  Did it ever occur to this guy that I had just moved cross country, by myself, and started all over again with no place to live and no job?  I packed what I could carry and brought it, but that was it.  Within days I had a job and it wasn’t much longer till I found my apartment.  No, I did not immediately wrack up a credit card just so I could get a bunch of impressive furniture.  I’ve never liked to spend beyond my means, and I usually stick with just what I need.  I’d say that’s smart and not something to be ashamed of.  

As far as transient goes?  Hey, I never promised to be permanent.

 

Clinging Sunsets

Words cannot convey

exactly what I’m trying to say…

when in my mind, I see your face

you have something I can never replace

knowing the world’s a better place with you in it

feeling you near even though you’re distant

imagining you so hard you must feel it!

 

Close my eyes

hypnotized

and you’re there in the air

Nodding your head, you deliver

the music that makes me shiver

with your smoky, hooded stare

you’re in my mind; you’re everywhere

 

Patience is a trait I’ve learned

though many times been burned

nothing stops the desire

like sizzling sparks of fire

when I do get the essence returned

 

I see clinging sunsets with whispers of blue

you should feel traces of me calling out to you

the charm has worked before; can you feel it now?

To make sure you know somehow

and to prove my desire is true

 

I know that soon you’ll be coming my way

a little game I like to play:

give a little, take a little; a push and a pull over time

until the day everything will align

It has happened before at least twice

more than a per chance roll of the dice

revelation, obsession, aspiration

feeding the fire of infatuation

 

Suddenly you’re right in front of me!

In the flesh; your indifference, your sooty, sexy glam

can be replaced by someone who understands

how open arms can make everything okay

Everything hooking up and synching the right way

 

Can I do this one more time?

Clicking off my list of the sublime

You are the ultimate to me

don’t know why I didn’t see

what we have in common; our faith is ingrained

we’re both just a little insane

And I’m loving every inch I see

of our rapid-fire sweet destiny

 

 

 

 

My Metal Heart

My heart aches for what once was

though I wouldn’t change a thing about today

the longing is still there, a remnant of days gone by

and I can’t help but wonder…

There was a time of freedom and not much responsibility

when all that mattered was the music

we lived and breathed the music ~ it was a lifestyle

There was the excitement of youth

when each day was brand new and anything could happen

The spontaneity and hope; starry eyes and puppy love, and what we thought was real love

Days were something to endure while we waited for the night to come

That’s when the magick happened:  our hearts free to explore; an open book 

waiting to be written;

attractions so magnetic – highly charged and bittersweet

because somehow, we knew this couldn’t last

Life happens.  

Like going to sleep and waking up in a different world

What we call maturity is somehow a gain and a loss all at once;

you can get disoriented along the way

Society telling us we should look like this, live like that, own this, pray for that

Frustration mounts, comes to a head

and we suddenly know what we must do

what matters

A plan forms in the very depths of our hearts

because there are still those among us who have stayed true to theirs

an inspiration greater than all

waiting in the wings to be wholly and completely embraced once again

by the metal hearts who have decided ~ it’s high time.

If you are living a lie, then you are wasting time because you are merely a shell

of what you should truly be

Because what really matters is what is in your heart

and to that you must stay true

 

Little Square House

I once lived in a little square house.  Downstairs it had a kitchen, dining room, and living room.  Upstairs, a bathroom and bedroom with a makeshift closet along the hallway that connected the two rooms.  It was sturdy and brick.  When I had the shingles replaced on the roof, the carpenters exclaimed over the hardness of the oak boards underneath.  I replaced the old “shutter style” windows with new, vinyl windows and had one opening done in all glass block.  No more snow getting in on the inside like it used to!  So this house was nothing fancy, but I kept it clean and cute.  

The yard was nice and big with trees and a half circle drive.  The back yard led down into the woods where a trail opened up to a large, fast-flowing stream.  If you followed the stream up, you would find yourself in a graveyard.  This led to much speculation on my part as to whether the stream itself could be haunted (haha) ~ just par for the course of my wild imagination.  But it was a pretty setting.

This little square house was old.  I imagined that it could have been the carriage house for a much larger and grander house that stood down the road.  At one time, in the past.  Maybe.  Either way it was a pretty place even though it was small and old.  It was the first house I ever owned, and since I was only in my early 20’s, I was pretty proud of myself.

So it was with some dismay when I heard a guy I was dating describe my house to others as, “she lives in this BOX….” said with a mild hint of disgust…as if I was living in a cardboard box under a bridge or something.  In fact, he lived in what can only be described as a “U” – which was actually a small, generic-looking, U shaped apartment in a building with lots of other U shaped apartments.  So okay, I may have lived in a square and he in a U, but you didn’t hear ME knocking his U!  In fact, I’d never have thought to do so.    

But I always remembered him saying that, and the look on his face, and it made me feel insecure and self-conscience about my little square house.  It shouldn’t have, but it did.  I wondered if, since he felt that way, is that what others thought, too?  Should I have cared?  No!  But at that age, I did very much care what others thought.  In fact, this was just one of several places I lived that was good for me, but that other people I knew criticized.  What’s funny is that the people who usually criticized me didn’t really have any room to talk.  They weren’t doing any better or more fabulously than me!  It shouldn’t have bothered me.  

Eventually I moved, as I always knew I would, and I sold the house after a few years.  When I think of it, that little square house reminds me of some of the tiny houses that are so popular now.  It wasn’t exactly that small, though, but it really was super efficient and a perfect place for me at the time.  I don’t have an actual picture of the house – the image is from google but hopefully will give you the gist.  The actual house was a little bigger and had windows on the second floor with dormers.  But that’s the general idea.  The house is still in my family.  I sold it to my dad who rents it out.